Living for Others

Law of Stewardship

Law of Emotional Choice

Law of Human Dignity

Law of Present- Moment Living

Law of Esprit

Law of Mindfulness

Law of Forgiveness 

Law of Unconditional Love

Law of Personal Peace

LiveAbundantly.com
is a world wide web ministry of
Christ
Presbyterian
Church 
a center of faith 
for living abundantly

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Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania 
USA 19026 

Focus on Certain Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness:
Living a Life of Purpose
   (The Law of Forgiveness)   

sermon from the pulpit of 
Christ Presbyterian Church                    
a center of faith for abundant living
The Reverend Clyde E. Griffith, pastor

    Forgiveness is something we all need to hear 
sometimes, isn't it?  [Maybe some of us, more often 
than others, huh?]  And forgiveness is at the heart of 
our faith.  The story of Jesus is the story of 
forgiveness.  In Christ all barriers between God and us 
are broken down, and makes possible for our adoption as 
children of God.  Jesus said, "I have come that you may 
have life, and have it more abundantly."  And the 
practice of forgiveness is one crucial element that 
contributes to that abundant life.  As I said in a 
sermon not to long ago: There is healing power in 
forgiveness.

    We know some of the causes of many of our illnesses 
today.  Many of the illnesses which plague our world: 
stroke, high blood pressure, heart disease, some 
cancers, many of the psychological disorders, are 
linked to things like anger, hate, resentment, even 
jealousy.  Anger, resentment, hate have tremendous 
power to affect our psyche, to affect our minds, to 
affect our bodies.  Seemingly, in and of themselves, 
they have an ability to cripple, maim, and kill.  There 
is no mistake about it: anger, resentment, hate, and 
jealousy are insidious, self-destructive killers.
And, curiously, a proven antidote to these killers is 
forgiveness.  In point of fact, forgiveness is often 
the only antidote with long-term affect.

    Greg Anderson, in his new book, 22 Non-Negotiable 
Laws of Wellness, writes perhaps his most powerful 
chapter of the whole book on what he calls the Law of 
Forgiveness.  He believes that one of the great truths 
of the collective wisdom passed down through the 
centuries is this: life can be lived most abundantly as 
an adventure in forgiveness.

    He notes that "nothing clutters a life, or the life 
of a nation, more than the three R's: resentment, 
remorse, and recrimination.  These three emotional 
responses to life are based on anger, guilt, and 
hostility.  When held in the mind and in the heart, 
they occupy a fearsome amount of space, coloring our 
perception of reality to an alarmingly large degree.  
They block our potential.  They drain our life of an 
chance for joy and peace."  And, they "do more to stand 
in the way of our wellness than virtually any other 
dynamic."

    He asserts, "The one and only key that opens the 
lock of hostility...[is forgiveness].  Forgiveness of 
others and forgiveness of ourselves.  [And] we all have 
the power to do this here, now."

    He goes on: "Forgiveness frees us from the perpetual 
self-punishment that the decision to hate demands.  
Forgiveness allows us to neutralize the toxic emotional 
investment that keeps us in shackles.  Our decision to 
forgive allows us freedom.  It is the only key on the 
ring that unlocks the shackles of grudge and guilt."

   There is therapeutic value in forgiving others.  
This is overtly a basic part of Jesus' message to his 
followers.  No less a stellar apostle than Peter asked 
Jesus, "Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against 
me, how many times do I have to forgive him?"  A fair 
question, isn't it?  A question we ask all the time -- 
in one form or another.  Often we say, "I just can't 
forgive her, don't ask me."  Often we feel that we 
can't, or don't want to, forgive even one time, don't 
we?  Jesus told a story about a certain person who had 
a certain debt forgiven, and then went on to confront 
another person who owed him a debt which he just 
couldn't forgive.  That person was sentenced to 
horrible punishment.  And Jesus concluded his story 
with this tag line: "That is how my father in heaven 
will treat every one of you unless you forgive your 
brother or sister from the heart."  He couldn't have 
been clearer on this.  The Kingdom of God is available 
for you ... who forgive.

    "Fine, Lord, but just how many times must I forgive 
this person who keeps sinning against me?"  It's hard 
enough to do it once, isn't it?  But, for a repeat 
offender.  Notice what Jesus does not say.  Jesus does 
not say, well forgive him once and give him a warning.  
Forgive him again.  But if he does it again, all bets 
are off.  Three strikes and you're out.  Jesus did not 
say that, did he?

    How many times am I to forgive this Bozo?  Once, 
twice, three times, five times, seven times?   Jesus 
said, "No.  Don't be absurd.  You must forgive him not 
one time, not two times, not three times, not five 
times, not seven times,  but seven times seventy times.  
If you fail the test of not being able to forgive a 
person an infinite number of times, you simply do not 
get it.  You simply do not know.  You simply will never 
know the Kingdom of God."  A radical concept -- that 
simply can blow everything you may have worked for all 
of your life, everything you may have saved for, 
everything you may have believed.  As I noted a few 
months ago: You won't find this in the Republican so 
called Contract With America.  You won't find this in 
the President's Crime Bill.  You won't find this in 
well-fare reform debates.  You find this in the Gospel 
of Jesus the Christ.  You find this in the Kingdom of 
God.  You find this in the Body of Christ -- this 
church in Drexel Hill, in churches throughout the 
Delaware Valley, in churches all over the world.

    People who forgive others live healthier than those 
who don't.  People who forgive others live longer than 
those who don't.  People who forgive others experience 
the abundant life Jesus talked about.

    Again, Greg Anderson: "The consequences of not 
forgiving are [just so] high.  The person who hates by 
constantly carrying a toxic attitude of resentment into 
his or her relationships, who goes through life 
spreading animosity, has chosen a distorted and 
darkened lens with which to view life.  Hate is the 
death of wellness.  The inevitable results include 
marriages that lack trust, jobs that create situations 
of constant friction and interpersonal relations filled 
with toxicity.

    "Life is filtered through our perceptions, shaded 
with whatever colors we choose.  Choose the color of 
hate and the penalty is [hell -- the penalty is] a life 
experience filled with acid rancor, deep 
disappointment, and self-pitying paranoia.  We fear 
what others may do, or fail to do, to us and for us.  
Our response: hate.  Through anger, through attack, 
through defense, we feel we find a certain, though 
unstable, sense of safety."

    There is healing power in forgiveness.  For Greg 
Anderson, and for Jesus, "Forgiveness applies to 
everything, to everyone, all the time....Forgiveness is 
for the workplace and for parenting, for young and old, 
for black and white.  [Everything, everyone, all the 
time]  This is what is meant by life being lived most 
abundantly as an adventure in forgiveness."

    To demonstrate what this means in practical life, 
Greg Anderson vividly describes his personal 
experience.  He asserts, "I can trace the absolute 
turning point in my own illness directly to the work of 
forgiveness."  He writes, "Weak, emaciated, lying at 
home in constant pain, I was going downhill rapidly by 
all physical measurements.  Doctors, family, even my 
own mind -- all believed I was about to die.
    "Yet something kept driving me.  I would place 
phone calls to organizations all over the country, 
seeking others who had gone through a similar situation 
and lived.  I wanted to learn from their experience."
    He said that he kept hearing people talk about 
forgiveness.  A woman in Boise, Idaho, told him, "You 
need to forgive."  A man from Tennessee put it plainly: 
"The difference is forgiveness."  Forgiveness.  
Forgiveness.  Forgiveness.  All of the people who had 
faced a terminal illness and survived were telling him 
about the therapeutic power of forgiveness.

    His first reaction was probably not so different 
than what yours or mine, might be: "I don't [think I 
have] many issues of forgiveness to deal with.  
Forgiveness is not my problem."

    But, upon reflection he noted: "I was wrong.  
Forgiveness was my issue.  My critical attitude was 
first.  Why did I look a situation and always pick out 
what was wrong?  I'd do it constantly.  People were my 
favorite target.  I would make a quick study of someone 
and actively seek out his Achilles' heel....[A]ll an 
effort to put someone else down in order to build 
myself up.  Distorted thinking," he writes, "bereft of 
charity and compassion."

    He observed that probably his worst example was his 
behavior at work.  He tells about the time the company 
reorganized and installed a new controller, a whole 
position, to personally approve all division expense 
budgets.  Things Greg Anderson had always done on his 
own.  He resented this new intruder.  He saw it as a 
threat to his position.  So, he writes, "Without making 
a conscious decision, I began to attack.  I became 
critical of the controller's plans.  I tried to 
undermine his work.  I threw stones at his policies.  I 
became critical of him personally."  [Does this sound 
familiar at all?]  His criticism led to condemnation.  
He says, "I set myself up as judge and jury.  If I was 
superior, then I was right.  In fact, I always had to 
be right.  Therefore, the new controller was, by 
definition, wrong.  I condemned him and then went about 
proving it to others."

    And now the plot thickens.  His story continues: 
"As I look back, I see that it was only three months 
between the time the new controller came on board and 
the onset of my cancer diagnosis."  He goes on,  "I 
believe there was a link between by toxic behavior and 
the onset of my illness."

    What he didn't count on, though, was what he calls 
a "counterattack."  "The new controller fought back, he 
recounts, "pointing out my failures to institute more 
effective financial controls.  He was equally skilled 
at finding a person's weak point.  And the battle 
between the two of us became a company-wide problem 
that began to drag everyone down."

    This personal animosity came to a head one day 
during a meeting between the other division heads and 
the Chief Executive Officer of the company.  At the 
beginning of the meeting, the controller passed out 
copies of a budget update to discuss.  Greg Anderson, 
trying to be flippant, said something to the effect 
that "These numbers are a crock," and tossed his copy 
of the bound report on the table.  As luck would have 
when it hit the table, it slid across directly at the 
CEO.  It kept on going and hit his coffee cup, knocking 
it over and spilling the hot coffee all over the CEO's 
papers and lap.    Having been excused from the rest of 
the meeting and from the rest of the day, in his car, 
on his way home, Greg Anderson began to see how 
absolutely ludicrous his behavior had been.

    He tells us, "That kind of behavior consumes vast 
amounts of emotional energy.  It produces a negative 
and contrary spirit that is toxic to us and to others.  
I had my entire sense of worth invested in always being 
right. [Sound like anyone you know?]  I sense it was an 
issue of perception," he continues.  "I was so 
concerned with what other people thought of me that I 
never considered I might be wrong.  I needed everyone 
to know I was right and to acknowledge it."

    And then his story takes a bizarre twist.  He 
writes, "Within thirty days of my diagnosis of lung 
cancer, my adversary the controller, was diagnosed with 
prostate cancer."  He goes on, "I underwent surgery 
that removed a lung.  But surgery was impossible for my 
nemesis the controller.  The disease had already 
spread.  As the weeks passed, both of us grew 
progressively worse.
    "Four months later, a second surgery confirmed that 
the cancer had spread from my lung through the lymph 
system.  The following day the surgeon made a statement 
that is indelibly etched in my mind. 'Greg', he said, 
'the tiger is out of the cage.  Your cancer has come 
roaring back.  I'd give you about thirty days to 
live.'"
    He says, "It was at that point that I began my 
journey in search of wellness.  Lying in bed, at home, 
I continued to deteriorate physically.  But I made 
those phone calls in search of survivors and I kept 
hearing 'forgive'."

    Greg Anderson woke up one morning and realized that 
he did have a monumental task of forgiveness ahead of 
him.  He felt a deep conviction that this was the thing 
for him to do.  And from his sickbed he began the work 
of forgiveness.  He says, "I believe that this was the 
precise turning point in my illness."

    The first act in the process of forgiveness is to 
identify issues.  So, he methodically wrote down on a 
sheet of paper all of the people that were a part of 
his life.  And then, he would go down the list, from 
name to name, thinking about that person, imagining 
himself saying that person that he forgave them for 
every wrong he perceived they had done to him -- and 
for all that they may have left undone.  And he would 
try to remember specific instances and "release" them 
-- not dwelling on them, but releasing them, 
recognizing in his words, "It was I, not [them] that 
was really being let off the hook."
    He would end the work with each person, "by 
picturing something good happening to him or her."  
Part of the process was "to actively see something good 
happening to the person I was forgiving."
    He acknowledges that this was not always a smooth 
experience.  And he became fascinated to see his own 
resistance.  But, the real test for him was this 
envisioning of something good happening to the many of 
the people he wanted and needed to forgive.
    And down the list he went.  Naming the people, 
forgiving them, and releasing them, and affirming them.  
It took him days to get through the list.  He talks 
about all he had to come to grips with to forgive his 
father for what he did and didn't do for him.  And he 
came to the name of the controller.  After hours of 
trying to deal with forgiving him, releasing him and 
trying to imagine great things for him, Greg Anderson 
realized that this one required extraordinary measures.  
This had to be done with a personal visit.
    He describes making the call to set up a meeting.  
He discovered his nemesis was at home, not doing well.  
It found this to be not an easy task.  He describes his 
heart feeling like it was going to come right out of 
his chest.  His emotions were on overdrive.  On his way 
to the house, he wanted to turn back.  He describes 
those steps from the car to the front door were some of 
the most difficult he had ever taken.  His heart was in 
his throat.  But he pressed on because he felt that his 
very life hinged on this sincere effort at forgiveness.

    What do you say to someone whom you have previously 
considered an enemy?  How do you communicate your 
changed feelings?  Are words ever adequate to make up 
for the emotional havoc one has caused?

    He describes the scene: "I was greeted and led into 
the bedroom, where my adversary was propped up in his 
bed with pillows.  And with my heart pounding, 
adrenaline rushing, voice shaking, I managed to stutter 
out a few words to this effect:
   'I have come to say I am sorry.'  A long pause to 
gather some composure.  My voice still breaking, I 
continued:
  'I deeply regret the hurt I have caused you.' Another 
pause.  I remember my right hand and arm were shaking, 
out of my control.  I tried to steady them with my left 
hand.
  In a whisper, I finished: 'I want you to know I wish 
you only the best.'
    Those words were imperfect to be sure.  Thery were 
delivered in a voice that was gripped with fear.  But 
they came from the heart, sincere in every aspect.
    They must have been effective.  Because my 
adversary struggled to sit up, swund his feet over the 
edge of the bed, and motioned for me to come and sit by 
his side.

    'Greg', he said, 'I am the one who needs to say I's 
sorry.  I'm old enough to be your father.  Yet I 
treated you like the outcast son.  Please forgive me.'
    His wife was crying.  She knelt on the floor and 
the three of us embraced.  We all cried.   
    Finally, it was my old adversary who found the 
strength to mutter a prayer: 'Dear God, forgive us 
all.'
    He continues, "We said our brief good-byes and I 
left.
    As I started the car back toward home, I took a 
deep breath and said out loud, 'Whew!'  A weight ws 
being lifted.  I could feel it, sense it, was part of 
it: the clouds tht had been tormenting me were 
beginning to part.  The day seemed brighter.  Was it 
the sun, or was it this catharsis that had just taken 
place?
    My posture changed.  I went from being hunched over 
to sitting erect in the seat.  I helf my head jmore 
upright.  The tension in my shoulders lesened 
dramatically.  The wrinkles on my forehead melted away.  
I relaxed.  The pain was gone.  The quivering had was 
steady.  A smile came across my face.
    'I'm free!' I whispered.  'I'm free!,' I repeated, 
this time louder.  IN a crescendo I exclaimed, 'I'm 
free! I'm free!  I'm free!' I shouted it, 'I'm free!'
    Tears gushed down my cheeks in torrents.  My vision 
blurred.  I quickly pulled off onto a side street, 
parked the car, and wept, out of control, for a long, 
long time."

    There is healing power in forgiveness.  Greg 
Anderson concludes: "I look back to my week of the 
sincere work of forgiveness and realize this was the 
absolute turning point in my physical healing.  From 
that point in time, I began to gain back lost weight, 
manage pain more readily, and hold more positive 
thoughts about my future.... Do I believe there was a 
link between this deeply spiritual work and my physical 
improvement?  Absolutely!  I believe that practicing the 
Law of Forgiveness changes us biochemically.  And in 
the process the body is released toward its optimum 
wellness potential."

    For Greg Anderson, and for Jesus, life can be lived 
most abundantly as an adventure in forgiveness.  
Friends, forgive -- and set yourself free!
There is healing power in forgiveness.  And it is there 
your each of us -- for you and for me.  Amen.

How to Live Healthier and Longer:
Focus on Living Certain Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness:
The Law of Life Mission (Living A Life of Purpose)
The Law of Service (Living for Others)
The Law of Stewardship
The Law of Emotional Choice
The Law of Human Dignity
The Law of Present-Moment Living
The Law of Esprit
The Law of Mindfulness
The Law of Forgiveness
The Law of Unconditional Love
The Law of Personal Peace

References:

The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness: Feel, Think, and Live Better Than You Ever Thought Possible
by Greg Anderson

Healing Wisdom: Insight, Wit and Inspiration for Anyone Facing Illness
by Greg Anderson

Journeys With the Cancer Conquerors: Mobilizing Mind and Spirit
by Greg Anderson

Sound Mind, Sound Body: A New Model for Lifelong Health
Dr. Kenneth Pelletier

Research Study: